An Open Letter to the Bum Who Stole $1.70 Out of My Car
Monday 27 Aug 2007Hello Mr. Looter,
This is a letter to you, the person who has to resort to thievery to finance your lifestyle. A daily routine which I’m almost certain involves booze and probably some illegal substances. I’m sure you’ll probably never read this, but it’ll certainly make me feel better writing it.
I live in the heart of historic downtown. With that I know there are some things that are to be expected, but until now, I’ve managed to elude. Thank you though, for making me realize that you cannot be trusted. For what it’s worth, I now keep my car doors locked at all times.
I hope the $1.70 you absconded from my car’s console served you well. Normally I keep that money in my car so I can buy myself a drink or two while at work, but obviously you needed it more than me. It’s not so much that I miss the $1.70 you stole from me, honestly Mr. Lowlife, I’m more upset about the mess you made in my car.
Granted I’m not the neatest person in the world. I do tend to live out of my car. I’m constantly on the go with my work. I keep important things in there, such as client files, my portfolio, a car seat for my son as well as other important documents. It would have been considerate of you to close my ash tray (as I do not smoke and don’t use it), and replace the documents you took out of my glove box (they’re original to the car, nearly 30 years old and irreplaceable), and returned the items to their original locations that you removed from the back seat when you ransacked my car.
If you’d asked nicely, I’m sure I would have given you the $1.70 without hesitation, but no, you chose to take it.
The joke’s on you though Mr. Scum, because in all your hastiness to loot my car for the small fortune you amassed, you missed the checks to my business account…
Of course, now that I think about it… you probably wouldn’t have known what to do with those.
Sincerely,
Chris Hood
Um, you’re welcome? If it makes you feel any more better, I do donate 10% of my stealings to charity. Honestly though, isn’t $1.70 a small price to pay for the valuable lesson of locking your car door?